Tips on Keeping it Together During a Divorce

Posted on Wed, Oct 16, 2013

Regardless of how unexpected or amicable your divorce is, your heart won’t be the only thing left distraught and torn apart. With a willingness to adjust and a positive attitude, you can come out of a divorce healthy, happy and still on your feet. By enlisting the help of divorce attorneys in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Fleming Island, Daytona or Boca Raton, you can be on your way to a fresh start without feeling like you were taken advantage of in the proceedings.

Enlist the Help of Your Extended Network for Support

Reach out to family, friends and other support teams, such as church members, other divorced individuals and even your therapist. You will be surprised at how many people will be there to support you and get you through one of the most trying times in your life.

Avoid Spending a Fortune on Extravagant Purchases

Many people end up running out and buying something extravagant as a means of coping with what you are going through. The last thing you want to do is put yourself in the hole because of a rash decision. If you are going to spend money on something, do it within your means. There is nothing wrong with making yourself feel better, but you want to make an intelligent decision about your situation and how to cope.

Listen to what your Divorce Attorney Has to Say

Do you want to begin a battle over a big screen television, or would you rather save money on the cost of a divorce attorney and move on with your life? Lawyers can help you move past all of the emotions and help you make an informed and economical decision, so that way you don’t have to worry about losing everything during the divorce proceedings.

Reevaluate Your Spending Habits

If you were someone who was always eating out at restaurants, you might want to start cooking meals at home. Beyond being healthier for you, the amount of money you are going to save will add up to quite a bit over the course of time. Instead of going to the movies all the time, try staying home and enjoying something on one of the movie streaming services available. You will be amazed at how much money you can save by changing some of the regular habits you have had for so long.

Re-Determine Where Your Happiness Lies

For many people, they struggle with how they are going to get over the end of their marriage. One of the best things you can do is to picture divorce as a beginning instead of an end. When you have a clean slate in mind, you are able to step out of your comfort zone, make new friends and embrace new challenges. Instead of spending time joining a dating service, join a group doing something that you love. For example, joining a runner’s group allows you to unleash your emotions by pounding the pavement and save on the cost of an extra-curricular activity. The friendships that you form will last you for years to come. Even though you may not have thought the marriage would come to an end, you have the power to take control of the situation with all of the experience you gained. Redefine your situation and who you are today.

Time Will Heal All Wounds

A divorce can take a toll on your finances. What once was a nice nest egg is now the money that you use to get by from one month to the next. Starting over requires patience and time. Don’t expect to leave the divorce feeling financially secure. Remind yourself that you went through a big ordeal and know that recovering will take months to get where you want to be. For some individuals, the length of time for recovery can be years.

Divorces can be quite confusing, time-consuming, stressful and overwhelming, but they don’t have to be that way. Divorce attorneys can help walk you through the steps to make sure the proceedings go through without a hitch. You don’t want to be taken advantage of in the divorce, which is where the divorce attorneys in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Fleming Island, Daytona and Boca Raton can come into play for you. They understand the importance of having someone on your side during this difficult time. Instead of trying to handle it on your own, you can rest assured that a professional is looking out for your best interests.

With five different offices, the team of professionals at Kenny Leigh and Associates is ready to work for you. Overcoming financial worries and stress can be simpler than before when you have someone who is available to provide you with information and work in your best interest to get you the best deal possible for your specific divorce case.

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6 Don’ts of Being a Step Dad – Part 2

Posted on Wed, Oct 16, 2013

Taking on a wife with children is an honorable action and no matter how much you love and adore your new family unit, sometimes being a stepdad can seem like an impossible and thankless job. Not only are you likely confused about your new role within this already existing family, but the children are probably feeling much the same way. To continue on with the flip side of ‘6 Do’s of Being a Step Dad,’ we offer you 6 tips on what not to do as a step dad.

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The Impact of Social Media on a Divorce

Posted on Tue, Oct 15, 2013

Florida is a non-fault state when it comes to divorce, so there is no need to make any allegations against each other in order to have a divorce granted. What is important is the litigation on the resolution to the divorce. Let’s have a look at what is at stake during the divorce, like distribution of assets, child support and alimony. How much, and what exactly are you willing to see her walk off with?

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When Friends Pick Sides

Posted on Mon, Oct 14, 2013

It can feel awful being left out by all of your friends, but it can happen to anyone at some point in time or another. Friends can take off on you and it leaves you feeling down and depressed. On the other hand, you can be with friends who leave you out of the conversation when you are right there next to them. Staying busy is one of the best means for being able to move beyond feeling sad, self-piteous or morose. You want to step back and assess the situation realistically. Regardless of what the situation may be, there are things you can do to respond and cope accordingly. There are steps to take to help you overcome frustration and grief and move to feelings of happiness and joy.

Are you looking at it from a realistic standpoint?

At one point in time or another, everyone will feel abandoned and left out. Unless you have had a huge argument with those you care about, it might be that this is a one-time thing that happened. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you can take charge and head out and spend time doing something that you love.

Have you taken an honest look at the situation?

Spend time analyzing what’s going on with your friends. It might take a few times for them to be comfortable with the fact that you are dealing with a divorce. Look around and see if you can find others that have gone through the same thing you are right now. Some people don’t know how to deal with negative situations like divorce. If you are having trouble seeing eye-to-eye, you need to find others who share the same mindset as you do. Being around those who can lift you up is important.

Do you find that you are no longer fitting in with those that you once did?

For those who have gotten used to their friends and fitting in, it can be overwhelming and heart-breaking to no longer fit in and have them by your side. You have the choice to feel awful or berate all of those who abandoned you. There is also the option of seeing this as a blip in a friendship that is normally steady. Maybe it was nothing more than a simple disagreement. Staying mad is only going to make the feelings of hurt that much worse, so you need to move past that.

Are you looking too much into the situation?

At times, people end up getting caught up in a host of reasons to help justify why they don’t have the energy, time or resources to make sure that all of their friends are invited to one of their events. It could be there are legitimate reasons why you weren’t invited to the event. Maybe your friend assumed that you wanted time to adjust after going through your divorce. Your friend could be thinking they are doing you a favor to prevent you from running into your ex. Until you take the time to speak with them about what they are feeling, you won’t know what triggered the event in the first place.

Have you considered finding something else for you to do?

Stop and look at the good side of things for a moment. Instead of having to worry about trying to please your friends, you can head out and do something that you have always wanted to do. This will help you find new loves and something that will entice and intrigue you. Take this time to spoil yourself and engage in something that you have always dreamed about, but never seemed to find the time to do it. Regardless of what it is that you enjoy, you deserve the chance to have a great time without your friends.

Do you listen to what your friends are trying to tell you?

You may be surprised to find out the reasoning behind why it is that your friends have parted ways with you. It might be that they feel trapped and don’t know how to handle the situation. They might feel as if they can’t handle the situation at hand, so they run away from it instead. Until you take the time to talk with them about the gravity of the situation, you won’t know how to handle it and get things moving in the right direction. Listen to what it is they have to say.

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October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Posted on Thu, Oct 10, 2013

Domestic violence is often considered a problem that exclusively affects women, but recent studies are changing that perception. Men can also be the victims of domestic violence at the hands of their partner or spouse. According to the National Centers for Disease Control, as many as 40% of victims are men. In Florida, men are victims in 24.1% of simple assault cases, but the actual number of male victims is probably higher.

Unfortunately, the fact that our culture still sees domestic violence as a women's problem has made it difficult for male victims to come forward and to access legal protections granted to domestic violence victims. Men and women are protected equally under the law, but the police and courts may be less sympathetic to male victims because of a lack of understanding. This is changing slowly, but it is still important for male domestic violence victims to handle the situation very carefully. Consulting with a divorce attorney for men in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Fleming Island, Daytona or Boca Raton can provide insight specific to your unique situation, but there are some precautions to keep in mind.

Always Call the Police

Many men are hesitant to involve the police in domestic violence incidents. Sometimes it is out of love. Many abuse victims of either gender still love their partners and don't want the abuser to go to jail. This is always a mistake. It gives the abuse a chance to escalate further and may put your life in danger. For men, it is particularly bad because it gives the appearance that the abuse didn't really happen. Since men are less likely to be believed even when there is proof, it's very important to document the abuse by getting the police involved.

For men, there can be an additional barrier to getting the police involved. Many men fear ridicule or don't think they will be believed, especially if the abuse only involves threats of violence rather than physical injury. Although this is a valid fear, it's important to remember that the police are trained to assess situations and are aware that men can be the victims of domestic violence as well. At the very least, there will be a police report documenting the accusations. During your court case in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Fleming Island, Daytona or Boca Raton, your divorce attorney for men will be able to use this to help prove your accusations.

Get Psychological Help

Abuse hurts the victim in many ways. It often leaves deep psychological scars that can be healed through therapy and support. If you have been the victim of domestic violence, seek out a good counselor to help you and any children you might have. Domestic violence hotlines usually have resources to help you find therapists who specialize in this kind of situation. Although men are often hesitant to call domestic violence hotlines, most do have resources for male victims as well and can at least point you in the right direction. Your divorce attorney for men may also be able to help.

If possible, it is also best to get a psychological evaluation for your partner as well. However, this may be difficult to do, and your safety is the most important thing. Your divorce attorney can provide advice on whether that is necessary for your case in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Fleming Island, Daytona or Boca Raton.

If you decide to attempt to repair your relationship, don't feel obligated to attend family or marital counseling right away. Family counseling often provides an abuser a chance to manipulate their victim, and the victim may feel responsible for the abuse. The abusive partner must do individual therapy to work through the issues that lead to their abusive behavior before any joint counseling is attempted.

Protect Your Children

If you have children with your abusive partner, it is wise to try to get custody of them even if the abuse has never been directed at them. Even if your partner never hurts them physically, the personality traits that lead to physical violence will probably still hurt them psychologically. In addition, abusers do sometimes begin to abuse their children after their spouse leaves.

Talk to your divorce attorney for men about getting a child custody evaluation and make sure to request an evaluator who has worked with domestic violence cases before and is trained in how to handle them in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Daytona, Fleming Island or Boca Raton. If the evaluator doesn't know about the abuse, he or she may not ask the right questions to find out whether your children are being hurt by it.

Always Speak Up


Domestic violence against men will not be treated seriously unless victims are willing to come forward, so speak up both for your own safety and that of other men who are being abused.

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