Domestic violence is often considered a problem that exclusively affects women, but recent studies are changing that perception. Men can also be the victims of domestic violence at the hands of their partner or spouse. According to the National Centers for Disease Control, as many as 40% of victims are men. In Florida, men are victims in 24.1% of simple assault cases, but the actual number of male victims is probably higher.

Unfortunately, the fact that our culture still sees domestic violence as a women's problem has made it difficult for male victims to come forward and to access legal protections granted to domestic violence victims. Men and women are protected equally under the law, but the police and courts may be less sympathetic to male victims because of a lack of understanding. This is changing slowly, but it is still important for male domestic violence victims to handle the situation very carefully. Consulting with a divorce attorney for men in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Fleming Island, Daytona or Boca Raton can provide insight specific to your unique situation, but there are some precautions to keep in mind.

Always Call the Police

Many men are hesitant to involve the police in domestic violence incidents. Sometimes it is out of love. Many abuse victims of either gender still love their partners and don't want the abuser to go to jail. This is always a mistake. It gives the abuse a chance to escalate further and may put your life in danger. For men, it is particularly bad because it gives the appearance that the abuse didn't really happen. Since men are less likely to be believed even when there is proof, it's very important to document the abuse by getting the police involved.

For men, there can be an additional barrier to getting the police involved. Many men fear ridicule or don't think they will be believed, especially if the abuse only involves threats of violence rather than physical injury. Although this is a valid fear, it's important to remember that the police are trained to assess situations and are aware that men can be the victims of domestic violence as well. At the very least, there will be a police report documenting the accusations. During your court case in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Fleming Island, Daytona or Boca Raton, your divorce attorney for men will be able to use this to help prove your accusations.

Get Psychological Help

Abuse hurts the victim in many ways. It often leaves deep psychological scars that can be healed through therapy and support. If you have been the victim of domestic violence, seek out a good counselor to help you and any children you might have. Domestic violence hotlines usually have resources to help you find therapists who specialize in this kind of situation. Although men are often hesitant to call domestic violence hotlines, most do have resources for male victims as well and can at least point you in the right direction. Your divorce attorney for men may also be able to help.

If possible, it is also best to get a psychological evaluation for your partner as well. However, this may be difficult to do, and your safety is the most important thing. Your divorce attorney can provide advice on whether that is necessary for your case in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Fleming Island, Daytona or Boca Raton.

If you decide to attempt to repair your relationship, don't feel obligated to attend family or marital counseling right away. Family counseling often provides an abuser a chance to manipulate their victim, and the victim may feel responsible for the abuse. The abusive partner must do individual therapy to work through the issues that lead to their abusive behavior before any joint counseling is attempted.

Protect Your Children

If you have children with your abusive partner, it is wise to try to get custody of them even if the abuse has never been directed at them. Even if your partner never hurts them physically, the personality traits that lead to physical violence will probably still hurt them psychologically. In addition, abusers do sometimes begin to abuse their children after their spouse leaves.

Talk to your divorce attorney for men about getting a child custody evaluation and make sure to request an evaluator who has worked with domestic violence cases before and is trained in how to handle them in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Daytona, Fleming Island or Boca Raton. If the evaluator doesn't know about the abuse, he or she may not ask the right questions to find out whether your children are being hurt by it.

Always Speak Up

Domestic violence against men will not be treated seriously unless victims are willing to come forward, so speak up both for your own safety and that of other men who are being abused.

Kenny Leigh and Associates can help you navigate a divorce from your abusive partner. We have five offices in Jacksonville, Boca Raton, Gainesville, Daytona and Fleming Island for your convenience. We serve men only in Northeast Florida and South Florida.