It can feel awful being left out by all of your friends, but it can happen to anyone at some point in time or another. Friends can take off on you and it leaves you feeling down and depressed. On the other hand, you can be with friends who leave you out of the conversation when you are right there next to them. Staying busy is one of the best means for being able to move beyond feeling sad, self-piteous or morose. You want to step back and assess the situation realistically. Regardless of what the situation may be, there are things you can do to respond and cope accordingly. There are steps to take to help you overcome frustration and grief and move to feelings of happiness and joy.
Are you looking at it from a realistic standpoint?
At one point in time or another, everyone will feel abandoned and left out. Unless you have had a huge argument with those you care about, it might be that this is a one-time thing that happened. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you can take charge and head out and spend time doing something that you love.
Have you taken an honest look at the situation?
Spend time analyzing what’s going on with your friends. It might take a few times for them to be comfortable with the fact that you are dealing with a divorce. Look around and see if you can find others that have gone through the same thing you are right now. Some people don’t know how to deal with negative situations like divorce. If you are having trouble seeing eye-to-eye, you need to find others who share the same mindset as you do. Being around those who can lift you up is important.
Do you find that you are no longer fitting in with those that you once did?
For those who have gotten used to their friends and fitting in, it can be overwhelming and heart-breaking to no longer fit in and have them by your side. You have the choice to feel awful or berate all of those who abandoned you. There is also the option of seeing this as a blip in a friendship that is normally steady. Maybe it was nothing more than a simple disagreement. Staying mad is only going to make the feelings of hurt that much worse, so you need to move past that.
Are you looking too much into the situation?
At times, people end up getting caught up in a host of reasons to help justify why they don’t have the energy, time or resources to make sure that all of their friends are invited to one of their events. It could be there are legitimate reasons why you weren’t invited to the event. Maybe your friend assumed that you wanted time to adjust after going through your divorce. Your friend could be thinking they are doing you a favor to prevent you from running into your ex. Until you take the time to speak with them about what they are feeling, you won’t know what triggered the event in the first place.
Have you considered finding something else for you to do?
Stop and look at the good side of things for a moment. Instead of having to worry about trying to please your friends, you can head out and do something that you have always wanted to do. This will help you find new loves and something that will entice and intrigue you. Take this time to spoil yourself and engage in something that you have always dreamed about, but never seemed to find the time to do it. Regardless of what it is that you enjoy, you deserve the chance to have a great time without your friends.
Do you listen to what your friends are trying to tell you?
You may be surprised to find out the reasoning behind why it is that your friends have parted ways with you. It might be that they feel trapped and don’t know how to handle the situation. They might feel as if they can’t handle the situation at hand, so they run away from it instead. Until you take the time to talk with them about the gravity of the situation, you won’t know how to handle it and get things moving in the right direction. Listen to what it is they have to say.
Kenny Leigh
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Posted on Mon, Oct 14, 2013
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Posted on Thu, Oct 10, 2013
Domestic violence is often considered a problem that exclusively affects women, but recent studies are changing that perception. Men can also be the victims of domestic violence at the hands of their partner or spouse. According to the National Centers for Disease Control, as many as 40% of victims are men. In Florida, men are victims in 24.1% of simple assault cases, but the actual number of male victims is probably higher.
Unfortunately, the fact that our culture still sees domestic violence as a women's problem has made it difficult for male victims to come forward and to access legal protections granted to domestic violence victims. Men and women are protected equally under the law, but the police and courts may be less sympathetic to male victims because of a lack of understanding. This is changing slowly, but it is still important for male domestic violence victims to handle the situation very carefully. Consulting with a divorce attorney for men in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Fleming Island, Daytona or Boca Raton can provide insight specific to your unique situation, but there are some precautions to keep in mind.
Always Call the Police
Many men are hesitant to involve the police in domestic violence incidents. Sometimes it is out of love. Many abuse victims of either gender still love their partners and don't want the abuser to go to jail. This is always a mistake. It gives the abuse a chance to escalate further and may put your life in danger. For men, it is particularly bad because it gives the appearance that the abuse didn't really happen. Since men are less likely to be believed even when there is proof, it's very important to document the abuse by getting the police involved.
For men, there can be an additional barrier to getting the police involved. Many men fear ridicule or don't think they will be believed, especially if the abuse only involves threats of violence rather than physical injury. Although this is a valid fear, it's important to remember that the police are trained to assess situations and are aware that men can be the victims of domestic violence as well. At the very least, there will be a police report documenting the accusations. During your court case in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Fleming Island, Daytona or Boca Raton, your divorce attorney for men will be able to use this to help prove your accusations.
Get Psychological Help
Abuse hurts the victim in many ways. It often leaves deep psychological scars that can be healed through therapy and support. If you have been the victim of domestic violence, seek out a good counselor to help you and any children you might have. Domestic violence hotlines usually have resources to help you find therapists who specialize in this kind of situation. Although men are often hesitant to call domestic violence hotlines, most do have resources for male victims as well and can at least point you in the right direction. Your divorce attorney for men may also be able to help.
If possible, it is also best to get a psychological evaluation for your partner as well. However, this may be difficult to do, and your safety is the most important thing. Your divorce attorney can provide advice on whether that is necessary for your case in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Fleming Island, Daytona or Boca Raton.
If you decide to attempt to repair your relationship, don't feel obligated to attend family or marital counseling right away. Family counseling often provides an abuser a chance to manipulate their victim, and the victim may feel responsible for the abuse. The abusive partner must do individual therapy to work through the issues that lead to their abusive behavior before any joint counseling is attempted.
Protect Your Children
If you have children with your abusive partner, it is wise to try to get custody of them even if the abuse has never been directed at them. Even if your partner never hurts them physically, the personality traits that lead to physical violence will probably still hurt them psychologically. In addition, abusers do sometimes begin to abuse their children after their spouse leaves.
Talk to your divorce attorney for men about getting a child custody evaluation and make sure to request an evaluator who has worked with domestic violence cases before and is trained in how to handle them in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Daytona, Fleming Island or Boca Raton. If the evaluator doesn't know about the abuse, he or she may not ask the right questions to find out whether your children are being hurt by it.
Always Speak Up
Domestic violence against men will not be treated seriously unless victims are willing to come forward, so speak up both for your own safety and that of other men who are being abused.
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Posted on Wed, Oct 09, 2013
When your ex chooses to abuse drugs or alcohol, her behavior affects the entire family. If your child is exposed to this behavior, it could leave a lasting negative impression or even worse, potentially endanger the child. The bottom line is that it's just not safe for an addict to be responsible for the well-being of your child.
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Check List for Age Appropriate Halloween Activities
Posted on Mon, Oct 07, 2013
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