Starting a new relationship can be exciting. If you have children, it may also raise a lot of questions. How and when will you tell the kids about your new relationship? How will they react? Will they get along? While you cannot answer all of the questions, you can control when you have the conversation with your children.

Knowing When

One of the most important aspects to consider is the age and maturity level of the children. Young children tend to bond quickly. If you introduce them before your relationship is solid, they may feel abandoned if you break up. Older children are often more suspicious and possessive over their parents. They may feel that the fact you are in a new relationship means that you will have less time for them. If your children are old enough to remember when you were married to their mom, it may be hard for them to accept a new woman in your life. Teenagers may be indifferent.

Another important consideration is how your girlfriend feels about meeting the kids and being a part of your family. You should have this discussion before you tell the children about the relationship to ensure that you are on the same page. There is no need to rush. You should both be comfortable with the progression of your relationship before including your children. If you are both committed to being in a stable, long-term relationship and she is a person that you feel comfortable introducing to your children, it is time to talk to the kids.

Talk to Your Kids

Though they may suspect that you are dating, it is important to have an age-appropriate conversation with your kids to inform them of your new situation. Start by assuring them that you will always love them and that no one can replace them. Ask for their input to show them that you value their feelings.

Tell them about your girlfriend and how you feel that having her in your family will benefit them. You should be alone with your children during this interaction so they can speak freely about how they feel about you dating. The time you spend with your children is important to maintain a healthy father-child relationship. Assure your children that your time together will not change. 

It is usually more comfortable for the children if the first meeting is very casual. Take them out to dinner at a child-friendly restaurant or to a ballgame. Give them a chance to have fun with your new girlfriend without having to carry on too much of a conversation. Allow them to get to know each other at their own pace. They may be less likely to try to sabotage your relationship if you don't rush them. Continue to spend time alone with your children as much as possible after they meet your girlfriend. 

It may be more comfortable to invite your girlfriend on occasional outings with the children. As time progresses and everyone is more comfortable, you can begin to have dinners together. Avoid overnight visits while the children are with you until they have accepted her as part of the family.

Your new relationship may cause conflict with your ex-wife. If you need to modify any of your divorce orders, contact an affordable Jacksonville family law firm right away. The sooner your attorney gets to work on your case, the sooner you will be able to move on with your life. 

If you need a Jacksonville family law firm with affordable rates, consider Kenny Leigh and Associates. With five locations in Florida that accept only male clients, Kenny Leigh and Associates can represent all of your family law needs in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Fleming Island, Daytona and Boca Raton. They serve Northeast Florida and South Florida.