“How can you get your 'groove' back when you are divorced and ready to date?  For starters, make sure you're really ready and aren't moving on too soon!”

While it's always easy to fantasize about being single again...it's quite a different thing to actually go out and date.  Even as a middle aged or young man, full of testosterone and virility, you may start to feel shy or even inadequate when you're going out there and once again looking for love.  This time, things may be different.  Maybe you've undergone some major physical changes.  Maybe you have a lot of emotional baggage to drag behind you.

Make no mistake about it; divorce is enough to make even a self-confident man feel a tinge of doubt.  Even months after the Daytona attorney tells you it's over, you may still have lingering doubts and quibbles about returning to the dating game.  However, self-confidence is truly what matters.  You can't let the past bog you down, whether you are plagued by old memories, feeling guilty about things you can't change, or even if you've been verbally abused.

Before You Date

However, before you take the plunge into that sea of plenty of fish, it is important that you understand where you're at, how you really feel, and your goals around dating again.

Some questions to ask might include:

• Am I ready to start dating again?

• Do I still love myself or do I blame myself for mistakes of the past?

• Do you know what type of relationship you want?

• Do you know where to meet this ideal woman?

• Are you protecting your children?

• Are you protecting yourself?

You may feel a great desire to start dating other people, but the fact is many men simply are not ready when they think they are—especially if their divorce has just been finalized.  They may still hold resentment for their ex, or even themselves.  They know they feel loneliness and desire...but they haven't given much thought to what they want in a relationship or what they can bring someone else in a relationship.  It's like the old saying goes: if you don't love yourself how can you possible love someone else?

Have You Truly Grown and Learned?

When vulnerable men jump into new relationships they often create a roller coaster ride of emotion for themselves and their new partners.  They may be transferring feelings of anger from the old marriage on the new relationship.  They may be making all the wrong moves, trying to fast forward into a new relationship just to stop the loneliness, or even to replace their ex-life with a clone type personality.  (Obviously, destined to fail for similar reasons). They may even feel trapped in a new relationship as soon as they create one!

Therefore the best approach is to:

A. Devote some time to learning yourself, forgiving yourself and simply being alone.  (Spend time with children or family to get your head on straight)

B. Decide in advance the type of partner you want and the type of partner you don't want.  How can you find your ideal partner?

C. Protect yourself emotionally, physically and financially.  This covers everything from the protection from STDs and unwanted pregnancies, to talking to an attorney about prenuptial agreements, to simply guarding your heart by avoiding certain women who will hurt you again.

For more information about legal prenuptial protection and other legal advice, why not visit a Daytona attorney today?

By Kenny Leigh