Sometimes, getting a divorce is an inevitable conclusion for a troubled union that can be tough on everyone touched by it. While you may not have a lot of choice but to go through it, you can choose how you cope with divorce. Finding positive ways for coping with divorce can not only spare everyone from unnecessary emotional pain and stress, it may also help pave a new path for future happiness. Here are five tips you can use to create better methods for coping with divorce.
Let Yourself Grieve
Ending a marriage can feel like a serious loss, particularly when a person takes their wedding vows to heart and makes a deep commitment toward their former spouse. Like any major loss, it is important to give yourself the proper space and time to grieve. Giving yourself an adequate outlet to mourn is like releasing an emotional pressure valve. It’s better to release those negative emotions than letting it all stew within you like psychological poison. You have a right to your feelings, so let yourself feel it. Later, your mind and soul will be a lot clearer, less bitter and much more open to new experiences.
Don’t Neglect Yourself
When your feelings and thoughts are consumed by divorce, it can become frighteningly easy to neglect yourself. The key to avoiding self-neglect is to become a champion of taking care of yourself. Instead of sitting around and sulking, invest in a new hobby. Instead of staying hidden in your home, get out and take a walk, or visit an interesting place. Opt out of the beer-and-junk food diet and try out some healthy, nutritious grub. In fact, if you weren’t the main chef in the marriage, this would be the perfect time to get in touch with your culinary spirit and whip up some wholesome, delicious food yourself! Coping with divorce in a positive manner should include living well and these are all great ways of doing just that.
Take the High Road
Sometimes, the process of divorce can be an extreme exercise of grace and patience. However, it will never be more important to demonstrate such refreshing qualities. There are common expectations that divorce will be a contentious ordeal with everyone anticipating the worst of everyone else. Don’t give in to it. Avoid name-bashing your ex or engaging in verbal arguments. It’s counterproductive, won’t fix the marriage and doesn’t put anyone in the best light. If you have a viable point to make during a divorce proceeding, leave it to the lawyers. Just make sure you’re the epitome of a class act.
The divorce process can take its toll on your mental health when you are dealing with it on your own. Besides, most people fare much better when they have a support system in place. So, while you’re going through divorce, make sure you have a emphatic and trusted individual or group to reach out to when you need them. This allows you to talk and vent about whatever you’re feeling, which can also give you a nice sense of validation. It’s a nice way to get out of your own head and connect with others that understand exactly what you’re going through.
Let Nurture Take over Nature
Perhaps the most important positive coping mechanism that you could employ concerns your children. When two consenting people enter a marriage and things don’t work out, each person still has their own life to live and control over their individual agency. However, the mutual children of the marriage still have to deal with both parents. It’s vital that kids’ lives remain as normal and peaceful as possible during divorce. Stay the course and continue being the dedicated parent you always were.
Don’t overcompensate and buy anything they want to “make up” for the divorce. Don’t drag them into the negativity that divorce can muster or turn them into tiny therapists that have to listen to your complaints about the issue. Do, however, reassure your children how much they’re loved and that the marriage end was an adult decision — that had nothing to do with them. Give your children the stage to voice their feelings and, if necessary, the space to process the loss. In the end, your children will gain invaluable insight into relationships and appreciate that you loved them enough to continue being what always matters most when coping with divorce: a good parent.
Whether or not you've come to a decision about ending your marriage, it is important that you be prepared and understand your legal options. Contact the attorneys at Kenny Leigh and get ahead of divorce before it gets ahead of you.image source: http://parkourkeskus.fi/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/JumpForJoy.jpg