At Kenny Leigh & Associates, we know divorce is usually a difficult time for most people because it brings change, both good and bad. Divorce not only changes your love life, but also can create changes in your daily routine, lifestyle, and finances. Dating after divorce can certainly take you out of your comfort zone, but it can also lead you to your life's next great adventure.
Whether your divorce involved a difficult court battle or a friendly, consensual decision, the final result of divorce is always the same – you are now on your own. For some people that may mean after 20 or more years of marriage, the thought of dating after divorce can create feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. After a divorce, it's important to take time to heal emotional wounds and figure out your next step. Finding your way in the dating world again is a process, but it is important to remember that everyone moves at their own pace.
Dating after divorce may be challenging and finding a new partner may take time, but don't give up. Take some time to relax and make sure you know what you're looking for the next time around. Love is usually different before and after divorce. With your next love you may find that love is easier, kinder, blameless, more accepting, and more attentive to your needs. You may find a voice that you lost during marriage and a sense of freedom that's quite exhilarating. When you're ready for new love and a new relationship, be prepared, be realistic, and just enjoy the journey.
Here are some tips to help you along your dating journey:
- Know Your Values – Before you start dating, know what you're looking for in a new relationship that will make you happy. What's important to you? What are you looking for in your life and in a relationship?
- Be Truthful – Building a good relationship hinges on trust. Are you looking for friendship? Are you ready for love? Do you want to re-marry? There's no point in falling for someone who's looking for different things than you are.
- Be Realistic – Set realistic expectations and goals for dating. Don't expect too much and don't settle for too little. After a divorce, you may not know exactly what you want, but you do know now what you DON'T want.
- Be Positive – Let go of any stored-up feelings of resentment, anger and sadness towards your ex-spouse. Even with your best attempts to hide them, old feelings have a way of popping up at the wrong time. Don't carry your emotional baggage on a new date.
- Find Yourself – After a divorce, take time to rediscover yourself and find your passion in life. Take a trip, enroll in a class, join a club, meet new friends, and experience life. Until you know who you really are and what makes you happy, your partner won't either.
- Enjoy Yourself – When dating after divorce, give yourself permission to have fun. Don't take dating too seriously, just lighten up and enjoy the process. Be yourself, and you'll meet some great people along the way.
Although dating after divorce may feel strange at first, try to think of it as an adventure that can bring positive feelings and relationships into your life. Maybe all of those things that were lacking in your marriage may show up in dating again.
If you do end up finding that right person and decide to remarry again down the road, remember that marriage can be a wonderful experience. Take your time, enjoy the process and stay positive. Your life isn't over after a divorce. In fact, it may just be the beginning of a great new adventure!image source: http://cym.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/dating_bloopers.jpg