While there may be a lot of bitterness between you and your soon-to-be-ex-wife, that doesn't mean that you can't let the holidays still be a magical time for your family.

Nothing compares to the happiness of children spending the holidays with their father. Being able to amiably share the children on holidays looks great in court, and can even help sway a court in favor of the father if the custody rights have not been determined or finalized. Even if you've been divorced for a while and have found a decent balance in your new relationship, it can be challenging for both partners to share the children during such a family-centric time of year.

Kenny Leigh and Associates is a family law firm in Fleming Island, with five other offices in Jacksonville, Daytona, Gainesville, Fort Walton Beach, and Boca Raton, Florida.

You Don't Need A Joyful Mindset, Just An Agreeable One

Embrace the holiday mantra of, "I will think of my kids first." It can be easy to get wrapped up in the politics of a divorce, and that is understandable because it is a very serious legal process. However, while your mind is occupied with thoughts to who is going to get the car, the house, the dog, and the kids, your children's entire world has just been turned upside down. Yes, your plate is full with work, balancing your new life, as well as navigating the legal complexities of family law in Fleming Island. Your children, however, need to adjust to a life where they have to be shared emotionally between two different individuals, which is harder to deal with during family-type events like holidays and birthdays.

A divorce is going to be challenging for your kids no matter how diplomatic and amiable you are with your partner. However, children who recover well from a divorce are more likely to

• Recover well and make lasting friendship, even if they change schools.

• Have less of a chance to develop chronic emotional conditions like depression or substance addiction.

• Develop stable lasting relationships with other individuals.

• Perform well in school and experience less delinquency.

Being Accommodating and Charitable

On top of the stress of the divorce, the holidays bring with them the unique problems of traveling, awkward splits in the child's time, and a variety of other issues that can make the holidays difficult to plan and prepare for. By holding up your end of the bargain, showing up on time, trying to put on a smile for the kids, you have the potential to make the holidays a peaceful break for your kids, versus a chaotic and stressful time of year. You can even make their winter break by offering a gesture of goodwill to your ex-partner.

Giving a gift to your ex-partner is not only acceptable common etiquette, but also a great gesture for your kids. Remember your promise to think of your kids first. This holiday is probably much more difficult on them than it is for you. This act of goodwill is both respectable and will reflect well on you in front of the kids.

Be charitable to your former spouse and your children by being reasonable and cooperative. Your kids are the most important thing in your life, and that is why you need to be the better man this holiday season.

Kenny Leigh and Associates has six offices in Jacksonville, Fleming Island, Daytona, Gainesville, Fort Walton Beach, and Boca Raton, serving all of North and South Florida.