Let's face it. Whether you are the one who initiated your divorce, or you are at the receiving end, divorce is tough. Even when the previous marriage has been a rough road to travel, it can be extremely difficult to get over the fact that the relationship is truly over. Sadly enough, even as you begin to feel the pressures of starting over, and depression begins to wedge its way into your life, you must remember that you are not the only one this transition is affecting. If children have been involved, they stand a very strong chance of suffering from depression as well. All is not lost, however. There are steps you can take to not only help yourself get through these trying times, but to assist other family members as well.
Steps to a Brighter Day
Did you ever wonder why divorce hurts so much? You've likely spent years attempting to fix things, struggling through conflicts, and even ignoring things, and finally you are free of that. You should feel better, right? Not always so. In many cases, marriage represents years of struggle, the creation and following of shared goals and dreams, and the exposure of your most intimate characteristics and secrets. It's likely that, at one point anyway, your marriage held the key to what you thought was your future. You probably made plans that focused on your now nonexistent partnership. The broken commitments, severed promises, and shattered dreams all tend to weigh heavily on your mind as your proceed through the divorce process. Things don't have to be this way. There are steps you can take that will help you alleviate the pain and sadness you are experiencing.
- Allow yourself time to grieve. As strange as it may seem, divorce can be much like the death of a loved one when you consider the changes in routine and losses you are experiencing. Although you may be tempted to try to block the images and feelings out in order to cope, this isn't the healthiest option for you. Allow yourself to focus on the reality of the situation and grieve for the things you feel like you've lost. Once this is done, moving on will be much easier.
- Get it out. Talk to someone about your feelings. Don't try to mask them or you will end up in worse shape than when you started. Talk to friends, family, doctors, psychologists, and even your attorney. When it comes to family law attorneys at Kenny Leigh and Associates have seen it all, and understand your anger and hurt.
- Try to focus on the positive factors that accompany this change. No matter how small the factors might be, they can shed new light in your times of struggle.
- Don't dwell on the past. Remember that your own future still lies ahead, and past dreams and goals will soon be replaced with new ones.
- Take care of yourself. If you are financially able, buy that boat you have been wanting, take a motorcycle ride to clear your mind, or walk along the beach and enjoy the freedom of the waves.
- This, too, will pass. Keep reminding yourself that these feelings are normal and temporary. If you notice that you have been feeling down for an extended period of time, however, it might be wise to speak with a professional about your feelings in order for you to better cope with your depression.
- Avoid the use of alcohol or drugs to cope. Not only is this an extremely unhealthy way of dealing with your feelings, the use of drugs or alcohol simply numbs the feelings you are currently experiencing. Once you sober up, those feelings will return, and sometimes be even fiercer than before. Family law attorneys note that using alcohol or drugs can adversely affect the outcome of your pending divorce.
- Make a plan for change. Examine the reasons behind your divorce. Focus on behaviors that will add to your chances of success in the future. Although in most cases no particular person is to blame for the failure of a relationship, both parties can likely admit that there are things they would have done differently.
The family law attorneys at Kenny Leigh & Associates are caring, knowledgeable and dedicated. We have 5 convenient locations in Jacksonville, Gainesville, Fleming Island, Daytona, and Boca Raton. We serve men only in all of Northeast Florida and South Florida. When you are going through a divorce it is especially important that you seek professional representation from someone who truly understands your situation in order for your to obtain the highest chance for success.