Sticky situations involving custody arrangements or another family issue often call for mediation. In fact, statistics show that 60 to 80 percent of issues can effectively be solved with mediation by involving a neutral third party. With the help of a skilled Florida mediation attorney, you can ensure that both parties are heard fairly and these decisions are made with your, and your children’s, best interests at heart.
It's important to stay calm, collected and rational during mediation. Prepare yourself by keeping in mind four key ways to keep calm when the going gets tough.
Manage Your Emotions
If you know you will inevitably become upset by something your former spouse will say or do, the key is to manage your reactions carefully. Allowing your temper to flare will not solve the problem. Manage your emotions by thinking of potential triggers ahead of time, then determine how you will work through them. It's much like establishing a game plan before the big game and then carrying out the plays as practiced.
Use Flexible Thinking
Opposing views got you into a family conflict in the first place. Sticking rigidly to one potential solution will likely result in more conflict. Instead, try to keep your thinking flexible. Before formal negotiations begin, open your mind to all potential solutions. During mediation, be willing to consider solutions offered by your ex-spouse.
Moderate Your Behavior
If you want mediation to be successful, it's important to moderate your behavior during the meeting. Keep your comments, emotions, tone-of-voice and body language in check. You probably know what buttons to push that will anger your ex, but you must avoid pushing them.
Check Yourself
Keeping your behavior, emotions and communication with others in line requires a keen awareness. Check yourself by paying attention to your emotional state throughout the mediation. Ensure that you are using the skills you've learned and practiced.
Role-Play
Practicing various scenarios with role-play is an effective way to really prepare yourself for the mediation. Ask a trusted friend or professional to play your ex while you practice the skills needed to stay calm and focused. The more you practice, the easier it will be to rely on the necessary skills during the real event.
Opposing Party: "I want to pick up the kids three hours early on Sundays so I don't have to miss yoga class every week."
You: "I understand that yoga is important to you, but It's not acceptable for me to give up those three hours. I propose that I bring the kids home after yoga so you can enjoy the class."
Practice several scenarios to ensure you'll be able to handle all potential issues that come up during negotiation. Remind yourself to remain as civil and objective as possible, keeping your emotions out of it to reach the best possible conclusion for everyone involved.
There's no question that mediation is a difficult, emotional process. You wouldn't be in the situation if you could peacefully resolve it without a third party. Use the time with the mediator wisely to get the best results. Prepare yourself for the worst and hope for the best. Try to keep your eye on the prize: A future that is free from the burden of conflict.
Visit our website today if you are seeking family mediation in Florida. Kenny Leigh & Associates can provide you with a consultation to discuss your rights and help you understand the process of mediation.