Although mediation over a divorce proceeding can be a difficult and unfamiliar path, it is a far better way to go than having the fate of your divorce left for the court to decide. During the divorce, both sides tend to experience ongoing conflict and major disappointment in an attempt to resolve nagging issues caused by the collapse of the marriage. When left to court proceedings, there tends to be a win/lose determination, and a feeling of being out of control throughout the process.

Alternatively, mediation tends to create a win-win for both parties. Because mediation provides an avenue where neither side needs to agree to something that is unacceptable, many couples choose to mediate their divorce on their own to reach a better, more voluntary agreement with each other.

In essence, the mediator who is controlling the process does not take a side or help determine the terms or offer any type of separate advice to either party. While there is no way in the process for people to pretend as though no one is injured, divorce mediation allows both sides to agree on how to handle the settlement.

To ensure both sides are ready for the mediation, there has to be time to prepare. Only through preparation can the issues of the divorce settlement, parent planning, or child custody agreement be resolved. The mediator is there to assist both of you together as a couple, to handle all important issues before reaching a well-balanced agreement.

To individually prepare, each spouse should:

• Collect all current records, including the paperwork on every financial account and fully review them before mediation.

• Read and complete all necessary preparation paperwork that is required for mediation.

• Bring enough copies of every pertinent document, file, or folder that can be shared with your spouse and the mediator.

• Recognize any area of conflict or specific issue that is causing or will cause anxiety concerning the divorce, the process, and the final outcome.

• Attempt to rectify a best case scenario and how it would be best written up as an agreement.

• Identify every issue along with its resolution that can be referred to quickly during the mediation process.

• Understand that there will be stress during the process and be prepared to respond instead of react.

Although the process of mediation is not set up to have any losers, it is still essential to be fully prepared for your participation in it. Divorce mediation is built on a foundation of mutual agreement where, unlike the court system, the spouses together are the experts, in the process.

By Kenny Leigh