When you want to start to date after a death or divorce, your actions can cause a significant emotional response from your children. Telling the kids that you are moving on requires a higher level of communication to help them through the process.
Now that you and your spouse have made it through a stressful and emotional divorce, it might be time to begin dating again. However, attempting to figure out ways to tell your older children can sometimes be as overwhelming as the idea of getting involved with someone new.
The loss of partners throughout our lives is often just a byproduct of living. Many of us in mid-life find ourselves wanting to get out and experience life after a lengthy marriage ends in divorce or the death of our spouse. However, choosing the best way to tell the children that you want to begin dating again might be more difficult than first imagined.
Open Lines of Communication
It is essential to communicate with your children, family, and friends about your desires of wanting to begin a new relationship. Oftentimes, your older children will understand your desires and may even provide advice on how to get through the process.
Each of your children will have a different reaction, and will handle the process in their own, unique way. If your spouse died, the children might react differently than if the two of you had divorced. Even so, one child may fully support your endeavors, while the others resent it.
Children Can Become Confused
Based on their age, your children should be provided special consideration when you start dating. It could be a very confusing and difficult process for your child at any age to fully accept that you have decided to move on. It is important to be fully aware of their intense feelings.
Be sure to set aside time to communicate and listen to them as they speak about their feelings. You might witness behavioral changes in your younger children that possibly indicate they are struggling with their emotions. As their parent, you will need to help them explore their feelings. The process might even require family counseling to help your child and you handle any strong feelings that has risen.
It is a very typical experience to feel guilt whenever you start a new relationship after a divorce or the death of your spouse. Oftentimes, the sensation of guilt is an indicator that you possibly are moving too quickly into a newly developing relationship. However, there are therapies that have proven to be very useful especially when the feeling of guilt becomes severe.
Starting over with the dating process is an essential part of healing from a divorce or death. It can be very rewarding. By learning how to communicate with your children, you can help them and yourself move into the next chapter of your life.
By Kenny Leigh