“Before making an impulsive decision it is important to think about the future and the past. Ask yourself some serious questions about love, marriage and passion before you say 'I don't.'”
Have you really thought a divorce through...or is this going to to be a Homer Simpson “D'oh!” moment years later, when you reflect? In marriage, it's so easy to make rash or even hasty decisions when we're angry. However, a man can often underestimate or lose focus of the real things that matter in life when he is emotional or feeling stressed.
And sure, sometimes a man just makes a huge mistake and marries the Mrs. Wrong. The bottom line is only you can decide if you made a mistake and if divorce is the best answer, or if this is indeed just a troubled year, and you really do want to make things work with your spouse. Before announcing any plans to divorce, and seeking a Daytona attorney, and before fantasizing about your new life as a single man, be sure to consider all of the details. For example:
Some Tough Questions to Consider
1. Is it just about sex or are you incompatible in everything else?
It's quite common to become bored sexually and to suffer from a lack of chemical attraction—the stuff that was so fun during dating. However, your sex life can probably be repaired, and besides, some relationships survive sexual woes year after year. Ask yourself if your imminent divorce is just about sex or is it everything else?
2. Are you still friends?
One of the surest signs of imminent divorce is if you truly have no friendly feelings left for your spouse, and vice versa. A marriage is not built on excitement and passion, but on companionship, on shared interests and on mutual respect. If you are not able to talk to your mate honestly, enjoy life together and enjoy the human experience then it is likely the friendship is dead, and the marriage is a skeleton.
3. Have you become a prisoner in your own home?
This doesn't merely apply to abusive relationships, but also relationships in which you are truly unhappy—just going through the motions and completely miserable in life. This is not normal, and a sad state of affairs. Of course, there is a big difference between being bored occasionally and dreading your life, as if you were a “prisoner” stuck in a bad marriage. Remember, there is always downtime with every partner you're ever going to meet. You don't want constant excitement in life...you want a partner that appreciates all of your moods, just as you appreciate all of her quirks. Marriage should be about inner peace and sometimes even beautiful quiet; and if you don't have that then maybe it's time to ask some hard questions.
4. Do you share any passions?
We're not talking about passion or lust, but life passion. The most in-love couples tend to do things together, to have shared values and common interests. These aren't just hobbies but life pursuits. The closer you match your spouse, the better you will get along. A lack of sexual passion is one thing...a lack of life passion is something far more importance.
5. How much do you miss things?
And by things, we mean “familiarity”...routines...and the “stuff” that has defined your marriage. This is not merely a materialistic outlook (although, yes, you should consider how much stuff and cash you're going to lose before you think of filing) but a lifestyle issue, and perhaps even a sentimental issue. What about losing your comfortable lifestyle? What about losing your nostalgic collectibles or beloved family pets? Sometimes in a blaze of anger or passion, we forget to think about the “stuff”- the little things in life that do make us happy.
For more information on divorce law, settlements and financial obligations, talk to a Daytona attorney and get the facts.
Have you really thought a divorce through...or is this going to to be a Homer Simpson “D'oh!” moment years later, when you reflect? In marriage, it's so easy to make rash or even hasty decisions when we're angry. However, a man can often underestimate or lose focus of the real things that matter in life when he is emotional or feeling stressed.
And sure, sometimes a man just makes a huge mistake and marries the Mrs. Wrong. The bottom line is only you can decide if you made a mistake and if divorce is the best answer, or if this is indeed just a troubled year, and you really do want to make things work with your spouse. Before announcing any plans to divorce, and seeking a Daytona attorney, and before fantasizing about your new life as a single man, be sure to consider all of the details. For example:
Some Tough Questions to Consider
1. Is it just about sex or are you incompatible in everything else?
It's quite common to become bored sexually and to suffer from a lack of chemical attraction—the stuff that was so fun during dating. However, your sex life can probably be repaired, and besides, some relationships survive sexual woes year after year. Ask yourself if your imminent divorce is just about sex or is it everything else?
2. Are you still friends?
One of the surest signs of imminent divorce is if you truly have no friendly feelings left for your spouse, and vice versa. A marriage is not built on excitement and passion, but on companionship, on shared interests and on mutual respect. If you are not able to talk to your mate honestly, enjoy life together and enjoy the human experience then it is likely the friendship is dead, and the marriage is a skeleton.
3. Have you become a prisoner in your own home?
This doesn't merely apply to abusive relationships, but also relationships in which you are truly unhappy—just going through the motions and completely miserable in life. This is not normal, and a sad state of affairs. Of course, there is a big difference between being bored occasionally and dreading your life, as if you were a “prisoner” stuck in a bad marriage. Remember, there is always downtime with every partner you're ever going to meet. You don't want constant excitement in life...you want a partner that appreciates all of your moods, just as you appreciate all of her quirks. Marriage should be about inner peace and sometimes even beautiful quiet; and if you don't have that then maybe it's time to ask some hard questions.
4. Do you share any passions?
We're not talking about passion or lust, but life passion. The most in-love couples tend to do things together, to have shared values and common interests. These aren't just hobbies but life pursuits. The closer you match your spouse, the better you will get along. A lack of sexual passion is one thing...a lack of life passion is something far more importance.
5. How much do you miss things?
And by things, we mean “familiarity”...routines...and the “stuff” that has defined your marriage. This is not merely a materialistic outlook (although, yes, you should consider how much stuff and cash you're going to lose before you think of filing) but a lifestyle issue, and perhaps even a sentimental issue. What about losing your comfortable lifestyle? What about losing your nostalgic collectibles or beloved family pets? Sometimes in a blaze of anger or passion, we forget to think about the “stuff”- the little things in life that do make us happy.
For more information on divorce law, settlements and financial obligations, talk to a Daytona attorney and get the facts.
By Kenny Leigh
