“When and how can you break such devastating news about divorce to an impressionable child? Here are some notes on how to handle the situation tactfully.”
If you are going through divorce in Daytona, and attorneys are being called and consulted on a regular basis, it can be a trying time for everyone involved. As if divorce isn't soul wrenching enough for us sentimental guys, once we realize the effect it can have on our children, it's devastating. Therefore, it's important that you have a strategy and a plan in mind when it's time to break the news. Improvising this sort of thing is a bad idea and can make matters even worse if your child senses confusion, inappropriate happiness, excessive guilt and so on. Straight off the bat, it's important to make time to discuss this with your children and to deliver the news well before you separate from your spouse.
Understand that a child's worst fear is that they will get lost in the midst of all this change. So don't think too much about who's at fault or why it's happening. Focus on your child and how he or she feels. Right now, your children need your assurance and they need your loving support as they adjust to this difficult life change.
Here are some ideas on what to say, even when they have a million questions.
Make sure your attention is not diverted.
Tell them what separation means in simple terms.
Let them know you're still thinking about them and are not going to separate from them by any means.
If things are somewhat amicable with your spouse, try to determine what you're going to say in advance, so that the child will see agreement in both sides.
Don't focus on pointing blame or showing anger. This should be a rational moment, so that the child can objectively start to make sense of the situation.
Do tell them that at one time you were in love with your spouse, because a child does not want to think he/she was conceived in such negative emotions.
Make it clear that nothing the child did was responsible for the two of you separating.
Make sure your child understands what divorce means.
Neither you nor your ex is going to stop being parents, and you must make this clear.
Explain any custody and visiting arrangements that have already been decided.
To older children, explain that you want them to be happy in their own marriage regardless of what happens to you.
It's perfectly natural to feel discomfort at this type of conversation. However, it's so important to make these points clear. Why? Because your words spoken during this time, however reassuring or awkward or inappropriate, will be remembered for the rest of your child's life. By all means, make it a positive memory. For more information on divorce law, contact a Daytona Beach divorce attorney who has experience in family law, particularly legal separation and divorce.
If you are going through divorce in Daytona, and attorneys are being called and consulted on a regular basis, it can be a trying time for everyone involved. As if divorce isn't soul wrenching enough for us sentimental guys, once we realize the effect it can have on our children, it's devastating. Therefore, it's important that you have a strategy and a plan in mind when it's time to break the news. Improvising this sort of thing is a bad idea and can make matters even worse if your child senses confusion, inappropriate happiness, excessive guilt and so on. Straight off the bat, it's important to make time to discuss this with your children and to deliver the news well before you separate from your spouse.
Understand that a child's worst fear is that they will get lost in the midst of all this change. So don't think too much about who's at fault or why it's happening. Focus on your child and how he or she feels. Right now, your children need your assurance and they need your loving support as they adjust to this difficult life change.
Here are some ideas on what to say, even when they have a million questions.
Make sure your attention is not diverted.
Tell them what separation means in simple terms.
Let them know you're still thinking about them and are not going to separate from them by any means.
If things are somewhat amicable with your spouse, try to determine what you're going to say in advance, so that the child will see agreement in both sides.
Don't focus on pointing blame or showing anger. This should be a rational moment, so that the child can objectively start to make sense of the situation.
Do tell them that at one time you were in love with your spouse, because a child does not want to think he/she was conceived in such negative emotions.
Make it clear that nothing the child did was responsible for the two of you separating.
Make sure your child understands what divorce means.
Neither you nor your ex is going to stop being parents, and you must make this clear.
Explain any custody and visiting arrangements that have already been decided.
To older children, explain that you want them to be happy in their own marriage regardless of what happens to you.
It's perfectly natural to feel discomfort at this type of conversation. However, it's so important to make these points clear. Why? Because your words spoken during this time, however reassuring or awkward or inappropriate, will be remembered for the rest of your child's life. By all means, make it a positive memory. For more information on divorce law, contact a Daytona Beach divorce attorney who has experience in family law, particularly legal separation and divorce.
By Kenny Leigh
